Your roommate says your home looks amazing. That means...
What Kind of Procrastinator Are You?
NOW HIRING: Senior Procrastinator, full time, flexible hours, extremely flexible. Responsibilities include opening the important document, staring at it, and then checking whether your favorite bakery has changed its opening times. Requirements: one deadline, a phone within reach and at least five years of experience saying you'll start after this video. Benefits include a sparkling kitchen, encyclopedic knowledge of shipwrecks and a close working relationship with panic.
Every office, school and household employs these professionals, and they don't all work the same way. Some scrub the bathroom grout with a toothbrush because writing that report feels impossible. Some open one tab about penguins and resurface four hours later as experts in Antarctic history. Some do nothing for two weeks and then produce brilliant work at three in the morning, fueled entirely by fear and cold coffee. And some can't begin until the desk, the light, the playlist and the planets are perfectly aligned.
Apply below by answering fifteen questions about chores, tabs, alarms and that one essay you wrote in a single night. We'll tell you if you're The Spotless Avoider, The Rabbit Hole Scholar, The Midnight Sprinter or The Perfect Start Waiter. Start now. Or in a minute. We understand.