What Kind of Water Bottle Person Are You?

Here, in the fluorescent glow of an open plan office, we observe one of nature's strangest rituals. A human approaches the water cooler. She carries a bottle so large it casts a shadow across the printer. The others step aside. They know better than to come between a hydration athlete and her midday refill.

Nearby, a quieter specimen sips from glass. Lemon slices drift inside like tiny exotic fish. The bottle matches her notebook. This is no accident. It is camouflage, designed to suggest a person who drinks eight glasses before noon.

And in the corner, the most tragic creature of all searches under his desk, then behind the monitor, then in the car. He has lost another one. It was his fourth this year. Experts estimate that a whole population of his abandoned bottles now lives wild on city buses.

Every water drinker belongs to a species, whether they carry a stickered steel survivor, a jug with motivational times printed down the side, an elegant glass vessel or nothing at all because it's in the car again. Answer fifteen questions about your desk, your ice and your bottle's sworn enemies, and we'll tell you which one you are.