Which X-Files Case Would You Investigate?

FBI interoffice memo. Classification: extremely classified, please stop reading this in the break room. Subject: personnel assignment, basement office. Notes: the previous occupant has a poster that says I Want to Believe, a pencil collection stuck in the ceiling tiles and a filing cabinet labeled with a single unhelpful letter. Your new partner will either believe everything or nothing. Bring a flashlight. Bring two.

Agents do not choose their cases, the cases choose them, usually at 3 AM by phone. Some agents end up knee deep in a New Jersey sewer looking for something with a mouth like a suction cup. Some follow a man who smokes far too much into a conspiracy involving black goo, bees and a suspicious number of government warehouses. Some sit with a gloomy insurance salesman who can see exactly how everyone will die. And some get a small Texas town, a pizza delivery boy with fake fangs and two partners who cannot agree on what happened.

Answer fifteen questions about your instincts, your snacks and your relationship with flashlights. We will open the file that fits you best. The truth is out there. So is your result.