Welcome to the annual Game-Day Snack Awards, where every personality at the party gets judged by what it carried in from the car. The envelopes are sealed, the dip is warm, and the host has already spilled something.
Our first trophy, Most Likely to Yell at a Referee Through a Television, goes to the Buffalo Wing Fanatic, who accepted with sauce on both hands and refused to wipe them first. Most Structurally Ambitious goes to the Seven-Layer Dip Diplomat, for building a snack with more planning than the actual game plan and keeping three rival fans at one table.
The Lifetime Achievement Award for Being Eaten in Under Four Minutes goes to a small sausage wrapped in pastry, which could not attend because it was gone. And the jury prize, Most Ignored Until the Third Quarter, goes to the crunchy option by the window, still waiting for its moment and completely at peace with that.
Your trophy is on the podium. Grab a napkin and come collect it.
