Now available: one historic mansion with 34 rooms, 11 bathrooms, a ballroom with questionable acoustics and a staircase built purely for dramatic entrances. Features include a library with at least one secret door, a heated indoor pool, a kitchen with two ovens and a basement the previous owner described only as 'fun.' Ghost not included, but not ruled out either. Serious inquiries only.
Here's the thing about mansions, though. Nobody lives in all 34 rooms. Everybody picks one and quietly moves in. Some people disappear into the library and come out three days later knowing the family's darkest secrets. Some claim the pool and are never seen without a fluffy robe again. Some take over the kitchen, and suddenly every party ends up next to the stove. And some head straight for the basement, install neon lights and start a pinball tournament before the movers have even left.
Your favorite room says a lot about you. Answer fifteen questions about rainy weekends, midnight visitors, broken vases and the scent you want in the air, and we'll hand you the keys to the room that is truly yours. Please wipe your feet on the way in.
