Relationships with other people are an incredibly complicated sphere and fundamental in the life of each of us. How do we acquire the skills that are necessary to enter into a relationship with another human being? Are we able to acquire them, do they constitute our innate talent? As it turns out, attachment styles are the result of experiences acquired in very early childhood. Our parents or guardians have a fundamental influence on the attachment style we will have in the future. There are several concepts, so it is worth expanding the topic a bit and getting acquainted with the basic definitions of psychologists before starting the attachment styles quiz.
What is attachment?
Attachment accompanies us at the very beginning of our life path. As a child, we become attached to our guardians, usually the mother or father. We create a bond with them, which is fundamental in the life of every human being. Tendency to look for intimacy, a relationship with another person who has several conditions. For example, the tendency is slightly higher in stressful situations or the case of a sense of threat. In later adult life, the main point of our attachment is, of course, our significant other - partner or spouse.
However, what determines the demonstration of a given attachment style? As scientifically proven, this is largely due to experiences and contacts with our parents or those who looked after us in our early childhood. Mary Ainsworth conceived the concept of the four attachment styles. Before you start the attachment styles quiz, make sure you get acquainted with each of them so that the quiz itself won't be too difficult and the result will be clear to you.
Four Attachment Styles
Mary Ainsworth studied attachment in the wild in Uganda and observed mother-child relationships in a laboratory in Baltimore. Ainsworth concluded that there are three attachment styles among children. Today we know the fourth one, disorganized, fortunately occurring very rarely and concerning children with the most disturbing sense of connection. Let's get acquainted with them before you get through the attachment styles quiz.
This attachment style, as the name suggests, is based on a sense of security. Such people trust the person to whom they are attached, feel safe with them, and believe that at any time, they are ready to provide any help. A secure style of attachment builds stable self-esteem and the belief that we have the right to love.
People who experienced this style of attachment in childhood can create lasting, healthy relationships in their adult life and, above all, control their emotions. In addition, they are not afraid of closeness, and the feelings that most often accompany them in relationships are happiness and fulfillment.
Avoidant style develops in children whose relationships with their parents are not what they should be. As with other styles, parental behavior plays a fundamental role in a child's development. In this case, mistakes made by the parents, such as not accepting the child or not having enough interest, lead to the development of an avoidant style.
In adulthood, it has a huge impact on human behavior. Many features characterize a person with this style. The most characteristic of them are low self-esteem, lack of trust in a partner, high level of anxiety, or a negative perception of the world.
This style is based on distrust. It is characterized by a lack of constancy, warmth, and constant fear of losing a caregiver or parent. The child experiences constant uncertainty as to the acceptance or interests of the parent.
This has a lot to do with the life of an adult, leading to various negative aspects. We can distinguish here the tendency to exaggerate various behaviors, the feeling of being underestimated, being withdrawn, of being insufficiently good. In addition, such people are constantly looking for closeness and tenderness in relationships with other people. They are also characterized by a lack of trust in the partner and constant assurances about feelings and commitment.
Disorganized style has the most negative impact on the rest of a person's life. People with this style most often experienced domestic violence in childhood, both physical and psychological. These children are neglected, harmed, and left to their fate. Moreover, people with this attachment style are more prone to developing various types of mental illness.
We can distinguish several characteristic features that characterize a person with this style. These are, among others, lack of organization, timidity, helplessness, problems with concentration, distrust towards others.
Should I Take The Attachment Styles Quiz?
If you display any of the features mentioned in the above text but you can't quite fit into one of the styles, we recommend the attachment styles quiz. Thanks to your answers, we will determine which attachment style you belong to. Answer 15 questions honestly, and you will finally find out what your attachment style is.